Dear President Trump,

How late, how lame, how lacking in credibility, when you tweet today that “we must all come together as one.” Please don’t pretend that you didn’t know that hate-based violence would spread as a result of your rhetoric. The haters out there heard you loud and clear, throughout your campaign and beyond. As David Duke says, “This is why we voted for Trump!”

They heard you when you declared that Mexican immigrants to this country were rapists.

“This is why we voted for Trump!”

They heard you when you said all Muslims should be banned from entering the country.

“This is why we voted for Trump!”

They heard you when you repeatedly claimed without evidence that President Obama had not been born in this country.

“This is why we voted for Trump!”

They heard you when you invited your fans to beat people who protested against you, promising to pay for their legal defense costs.

“This is why we voted for Trump!”

They heard you when you encouraged police officers to rough up suspects.

“This is why we voted for Trump!”

It’s way too late to unwind the effect of your words and behavior. The haters you gave renewed life to will never believe that you’ve turned on a dime and suddenly worship unity. And, even if they believed you’ve turned the page, they won’t care. You brought them to life. You nourished their hatred.

“This is why we voted for Trump!”

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger

Dear Mr. Trump,

I see, in one of your frequent emails to me, that you plan to “participate in an intellectual property event at the White House.”

I would have thought that a requirement for your participation might be your actual possession of intellectual property. Clearly, I was mistaken, unless the properties are deceit, misogyny, racism, narcissism, and boorishness. I know that these are not intellectual properties, per se, more like personality or character properties – okay, let’s be honest and call them flaws – but the leader of our country, to talk persuasively about anything, should not be a lying, woman-hating, self-loving, bully, and racist, right?

No, I see that you keep behaving the same way because you are “strengthening your base.”

May God protect us from you and your kind.

Bruce J. Berger

 

http://www.publicpool.org/dope/bruce-j-berger/

 

July 30, 2017

Dear Mr. Trump,

Although I usually write to give you advice, now I wonder whether you might give some to me. Say, e.g., I decided to run for public office. Oh, I don’t know, maybe the Montgomery County Council. Could you give me some tips? Among the main things that we have in common are that I, too, walk on two legs and have never held public office before. Guide me here, please:

Lying: Is it enough if I say that I graduated from Harvard Law School magna cum laude when in truth it was only cum laude? Or should I say summa all the way? Is anyone going to check? Or care? Is it true that, the more outrageous the lie, the more voters you can attract? Should I just claim that I was simultaneously the Dean of Harvard Law School and the President of the Harvard Law Review? If someone claims that I lied, can I just scream “fake news” and gain that much more support?

Thuggery: Your supporters love when you talk about police “not treating them so nice,” a euphemism for beating up an arrestee prior to any due process and when, e.g., you rudely pull a foreign minister out of your way. So, if I let go an enormous, smelly fart in the middle of a Council meeting; or maybe belch loudly; or maybe add the belch to the fart, would I be on the right track? I sense that you are more the throw-dog-excrement-at-your-opponent type, but after all I would not be running for president, just a local government office. How, exactly, do you calibrate your thuggery so well to suit your friends?

Narcissism: Here, I must confess, I doubt that I could come even halfway to your standards, but one must try, right? First, does it cost a lot of money to have fake Time covers made in one’s honor? Could I pretend that Bethesda Magazine named me “Montgomery County Man of the Year” even though no one knows who I am? Or perhaps I should put up a great big beautiful statue of myself in Downtown Silver Spring? Yes, I’m sure it would be collapse within minutes of its erection, or be pulled down, but think of the publicity!

Sir, I have so much to learn about deceit, lack of simple human decency, and self-love. If you can’t help me, who can?

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger

Dear Mr. Trump,

I see that you have banned transgender people from service in the US armed forces, on the basis of protecting the “lethality” of our military. Let’s put aside the fact that this action is blatantly discriminatory. It’s worse even than having “colored” units in the military from the civil war right up through the mid 20^th century. Let’s put aside the fact that this action has no legitimate evidentiary basis. Do you really think, Mr. President, that you are more “lethal” because you decided to stick with the gender that someone assigned you at birth?

If you are serious about “lethality,” however, then I suggest your action is misguided. If you wanted “lethality,” you should have reinstated the draft and put, at the top of the list, the thousands of convicted murderers in the United States today.

On the other side of the coin, you should have excluded everyone from the military who has once had a compassionate thought. How can they be trusted, in a time of crisis, to obey your orders to kill? You should also have excluded anyone who has ever voted for a Democrat. How can they be trusted to follow your murderous commands? Most of them believe you’re non compos mentos anyway.

Sir, I realize that if you follow my advice, the military will shrink to about 5% of its present size, but it will certainly be “lethal.”

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger

Dear Mr. Trump,

Maybe you are unaware, but your constant reiteration of the phrase “fake news” to describe everything published about you that you don’t like is starting wear a bit thin. It’s like you’ve put on the same shirt, day after day, so that the material has frayed and come apart and lets everyone see the ugly mess behind it. The American public, in short, is getting tired – so tired – of that constant refrain. The number of people who still think those words are meaningful is dwindling rapidly. Every time you say the same thing, more people are sick of hearing it.

So, sir, my suggestion to you is that you find new words. Perhaps you can characterize the stories you dislike as “Sad, but true …” or “Unfortunately, right on the mark” or “Ah, you caught me this time with my pants down …” or “I didn’t realize that my criminal, treasonous conduct was against the law.” That way, many more people will believe you. Plus, you will capture the element of surprise, even shock, and think of how that will affect your ratings!

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger

Dear Mr. Trump,

I can see now how this all played out last year, when you became the presumptive Republican nominee. Let me know if I’m wrong.

Jr.        Dad, the most remarkable thing has happened. The Russkies are offering to help us smear Hillary!

DT       What? How do you know?

Jr.        Here’s the email I got. They’ll even come to the Trump Tower in New York!

DT       Make sure you bring Jared and Manafort. This is a campaign thing. They have to be involved.

Jr.        Of course.

DT       Now, what’s your story? What’s the cover?

Jr.        Well, first, as you’ve taught me over the years, I will deny that any such meeting ever took place. If I have to fill out any forms when you’re elected – as you will be with all this mud on Hillary we’re going to get – I will forget such a meeting took place.

DT       Good. Deny, deny, deny. Fake news. But, what if someone finds out? You need a story.

Jr.        I got that figured, too. The Russkie contact is interested in adoptions. We’ll say that’s what we talked about.

DT       Haha! Adoptions, like when those soft fuzzy libtards try to help someone else have a decent life! Haha! Good, good!

Jr.        And also we’ll say that we didn’t learn anything.

DT       So, how exactly is this going to help us win again?

Jr.        We promise to lift sanctions, the Russkies find the dirt and get it released. And they’ll feed us inside stuff.

DT       I love it! Beautiful!

Jr.        When Putin heard you beg him to hack Hillary’s emails, he couldn’t resist.

DT       I knew he’d get the message. Boy, I love Putin! He knows how to eliminate his competition. He’s tough. I’m gonna be just like him when I’m President!

Jr.        Sure you will, Dad! I’m proud of you.

DT       All right. Go ahead. Remember, we never talked about this. If it comes out some day, it’s … it’s … a big nothing burger. Can you remember that?

Jr.        A big nothing burger. Got it.

DT       And keep me informed every step of the way.

Jr.        Like we’ve always operated.

So, Mr. Trump, I’m pretty sure I got the essence of that conversation correct. Unless you tell me I’m wrong, my friends and I are entitled to deem this a proven fact.

Thank you, sir, for your valuable time.

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger

Dear Mr. Trump,

I see that your staff “forgot” to book you a room for the G-20 summit. What a shame! How could the people you hire be so callous? Although I realize that the summit is in Hamburg, not Vienna, do you think this could be a Freudian slip?

Or, do you think Hillary was behind it all? You know, those emails?

Seriously, though, you’re doing a bit better. I saw that you reluctantly shook Angela Merkel’s hand when she offered it, and you managed to get off-camera before taking the Purell bottle from one of your aides. You’re learning diplomacy!

Best of luck, sir, on the rest of your trip.

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger

Dear Mr. Trump,

You don’t really need me to pile on criticism about your latest misogynist tweets. You’ve heard it sufficiently from everyone by now: boorish, childish, depraved, unbecoming a president. It wouldn’t serve a useful purpose to prove that such sick, narcissistic, disgusting behavior as you repeatedly exhibit is not in the best interests of our country. You are hopeless, a disgrace to the United States, and proof that our democracy is gravely at risk.

As always, in my letters to you, I try to offer you sound advice, even though I know you will ignore it. I will try again, however.

Ignore the media. Stop calling everything you don’t like “fake news.” Do your job, and if you do a good job then trust that the facts will get out. Don’t obsess about the Russian investigation. The truth will emerge, and, if as you claim you are innocent, that fact will get out too. Stop obsessing about the appearance of women. Keep your mouth – and Twitter feed – shut.

Like I said … hopeless.

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger

Dear Occupant:

You live there in the White House, so you’re the occupant, for now. As such, the American people have a right to know what’s going on behind your closed doors, and your press secretary should not hide from the press.

I understand how difficult it may be for him to answer questions. You don’t want him to tell the truth about anything, and he always looks stupid trying to get your talking points across. Yet, even so, our media representatives should have the right to question him. If he lies, the press can point out the lies.

We would like to hear him explain why you think it’s a good thing that 23 million Americans lose their health insurance.

We would like to hear him explain how you’re now under investigation, which you apparently means that you feel you’re guilty of something.

We would like to hear him explain how you have failed to appoint sufficient senior staff to run the government, mainly because no one with an ounce of integrity would work for you.

Put Sean Spicer back out there in the press room, sir occupant of the White House.

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger