• Why Write About 1946?

    August 12, 2012
    Uncategorized

    The question arises because I have spent the last two and one-half months working on the first draft of a novel tentatively entitled .. are you ready?…1946: A Novel.  I already know that the title is pretty lame.  Other than identifying the year in which the story takes place, it tells the prospective reader absolutely nothing.  No hint as to whether this is a story about post-war America or, if so, what aspects of that history are pertinent.  The setting could be Europe, or Africa, or Asia for all anyone would know..  In this working title, there’s no hint as to whether this is a story of a romance, of a family tragedy, of a refugee from the Holocaust, or of a coming of age, no hint as to the identity of the protagonists or the type of conflicts they encounter, no hint as to whether this is a mystery, historical fiction, police procedural, horror story, or comedy.  I will concede that the story attempts to be many of the things I just mentioned, but not all.

    I’ll say a few things about 1946: A Novel and what I am trying to accomplish.  It’s an important year as the world tries to recover from a horrific war and Hitler’s annihilation of 6,000,000 Jews.  It’s a year where momentous changes are still in the works, and the world discovers that its serious problems have not really ended at all.  It’s a year when homecoming soldiers and refugees try to renew their lives and when war widows try to address the lingering grief and pain of loneliness.  It’s a year when people try to work through the guilt they feel, guilt for having survived when many others did not, guilt for not being in the right place at the right time, guilt for having stood by doing nothing, guilt for hiding instead of fighting, guilt for killing instead of turning away, guilt for taking advantage, and guilt for being unable to save lives.

    The year 1946 was four years before I was born.  My parents, who’d known each other for eight years by then, had not yet become engaged.  My father and uncles returned from long absences during the war, but thankfully returned in remarkably good physical and mental shape.  My grandparents, who had endured the agony of the children fighting a war, were able to breathe more easily and sleep better at night.  Cousins-to-be became conceived in short order.  The stage was being set for my arrival.  How important was that?

    We write about the things that have meaning in our lives.

    The story involves in large part Nicolas (“Nikki”) Covo.  Read four other stories about him in “To Hide in Athens and Other Stories.”

    http://www.amazon.com/Hide-Athens-Other-Stories-ebook/dp/B005WKTLNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344806080&sr=8-1&keywords=to+hide+in+athens+and+other+stories

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  • A Poem from Big Bear Lake

    August 12, 2012
    Uncategorized

    The displays of chatchkas ready/ Their owners expectant, waiting/ But dark clouds threaten, distant roar/ Of thunder warning all away

    We don’t want to stand where lightning/ Might end our day in burning flash/ Of heart-stopping power drowning/ In a pool of acrid ozone

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  • Terebes (a story)

    June 26, 2012
    Uncategorized

    TEREBES

     

    Bruce J. Berger

    Ida sat uncomfortably on the hard wooden seat as her train sped eastward from Budapest, the magnificent city of her dreams, a place she was now forced to abandon, as far as she knew, for the rest of her life. Duty called her back to her family, one that had grown by yet another baby sister in the two years that she had been away. Her mother had apparently run out of conventional names or else, following what she promised was her last pregnancy, chose to name the infant Piroska in a flight of fancy. Little redhead indeed! There were already too many mouths to feed, and a new sister would only mean more child care work for Ida, even as she tried to begin her a career as a seamstress. She had been in Budapest for two years, apprenticed to a talented and fortunately patient mistress of that trade, living with an aunt only too happy to get rid of her.

    Moving from Szighet to Budapest at the age of 13 had been an eye-opening experience. She could not remember ever having seen so many buildings, so many people, so many horse-drawn carriages, so much activity in one place. Quickly getting accustomed to the bustle of Hungary’s capital in 1908, Ida found time every day to study the traffic on the broad, busy boulevard that was Andrassy Street. On fine days, she would eat her meager bagged lunch there, perched on a park bench. Regardless of the weather, she would walk the two miles between her Aunt Buzhy’s apartment and Miss Kati’s shop, morning and night, six days a week. There was much work to be done on Sundays, as customers would often seek repairs to their dresses or blouses or come to have new clothes created. On Saturdays, the Sabbath, Ida rested and read books she had borrowed from the great Budapest Public Library. Kati came from a large Jewish family herself and would never open on the Sabbath. In the winter months, after dark, Ida would use the few pennies that Aunt Buzhy gave her to watch the silent movies at the neighborhood theater. She had never seen a movie until she moved to Budapest.

    Now, her apprenticeship over, things had taken a decidedly bad turn. Ida’s family had just moved away from Szighet to a tiny town in Transylvania that no one had ever heard of before. Terebes? The first three maps of Hungary that Ida had studied at the library didn’t even show the town. Only in tiny print on the fourth consulted map could Ida make out the name, next to an even smaller dot. The reason for such a move had been explained to Ida in a long letter from her father, but Ida could read between the lines of Jacob Weisz’s neat handwriting. Ida’s grandfather, her mother’s father, had died and left to Laura a plot of land in Terebes big enough for a house and vegetable garden. They needed their own house, to be built on the land by Ida’s father, and Terebes did not have its own tailor, nor a seamstress. Jacob and Ida would work next to each other and provide for the rest of the family.

    ##

    Tired and grumpy from the six-hour trip, Ida watched as the owner of the buggy service and his son, a tall but pencil thin boy of about 12 years of age, pushed her trunk into the back of the vehicle. “Goldmann’s Taxi” said the hand-painted sign on the side of the carriage, but they were apparently unrelated to the Goldmanns she had known in Szighet, a fact she quickly deduced with a couple of questions answered by father. The boy — she heard his father call him Karl — said nothing, but stared intently at her. He looked ridiculous in a black and white striped cap pulled low over his forehead, with ears protruding far from his head on either side. Ida grimaced at the boy and he quickly turned his gaze aside. The balance of the short trip to Terebes was uneventful.

    The taxi pulled up alongside a drab-looking house on an unpaved street in a tiny town. Suddenly, Ida was immersed in a hubbub of excited, loving family members. She hugged her parents warmly, then proceeded to hug and exchange a word with each of her siblings. Herman, next in age younger than Ida, hugged her the hardest of all and from the tears welling in his eyes she could tell that he was most affected by the emotion of the reunion. Finally, her mother presented her with the wrapped-up Piroska, just waking up from a nap and starting to cry. Ida expected to feel a greater sense of bonding when the newest member of the Weisz family was being placed in her arms for the first time, but she could detect only the faintest stirrings of love inside of her. Her sister was just another cute baby, a constant chore for older siblings who would more likely than not disappear whenever the diaper had to be changed.

    The Goldmanns carried her trunk into the house, and Jacob paid the man a few korona, with the boy, Karl, stealing another long glance at Ida. Getting back into the buggy, Ida heard the boy say something to his father and saw his father laugh. She could not make out the words, but her older brother, Jeno, had been standing nearby.

    “Jeno, what did that boy say that made his father laugh?”

    “Ida, you don’t want to know.” Jeno scratched his head, looked at the buggy travel down the street only a few houses, and park in front of what was apparently the Goldmanns’ house. Karl and his father unhitched the horses and led them around a corner towards the rear, where their stalls must have been.

    “No, really, what did he say?”

    “He announced to his dad … ‘This is the girl I am going to marry!’” Jeno’s eyes twinkled in merriment and he, too, started to laugh.

    “God willing, never” responded Ida, turning quickly to enter her family’s new, tiny house, anger rising in her.

    ##

    Ida had little time during the day to think about Budapest. Her days were filled with work and family, and on the Shabbat just family. The work was hard. Despite her apprenticeship with a skilled seamstress, Ida started her own career with difficulty, ruining a fair amount of cloth (for which she had to pay herself) and, when not ruining what she worked on, creating some unusual clothing. Gradually, however, she managed more carefully. When a year had gone by, she hardly ruined anything any more and began to make more money for her family. Every korona she earned she turned over dutifully to her father. There were a lot of mouths to feed.

    Meanwhile, Jeno and Herman learned the tailor’s trade from Jacob; they were learning well, but Terebes could not support three tailors. It could barely support one. Jeno made the family sad by enlisting in Emperor Franz-Josef’s army at the age of 17. Sending off a child to learn a trade was one thing. Sending off the oldest child, a son, to join an army was beyond the comprehension of anyone in the family. They could not remember anyone else among their relatives wearing a uniform.

    It was not that Jacob and Laura worried about Jeno being killed or wounded in battle. No one in Terebes thought about war in 1911. It was just that the army seemed like a lifetime sentence of deprivation, innumerable postings to distance places of the Empire, irrevocably giving up one’s freedom. Yet, they could not argue with Jeno’s logic. He would be fed and clothed by the government, and he would send home most of his stipend, he promised. He would set apart a small amount in the hope that, some day, he might find a wife and start his own family. The entire family lined up outside their house to say goodbye and give Jeno some small parting gifts when Goldmann’s taxi drove up on a cold Sunday in March. This time, Karl drove the two-horse team himself. His father had grown ill with consumption.

    Karl smiled at Ida. “How are you today, my future wife? You know I love you, don’t you?” He had grown increasingly bold in the past year with his insinuations that he would marry her someday. His predictions had become the town joke, but Ida had given up getting angry. She had decided that expressing anger to him would just encourage him. Instead, she resolved to just ignore him.

    The rest of Terebes did not think amiss of Karl’s brash behavior, quite unusual though it was. Ida’s younger sisters just fell apart in giggles whenever Karl would come into their house and stare at Ida as she worked at her bench. If Ida could have locked him out, she would have, but then she would be locking out all of their customers and their livelihood. The longer the joke continued, it seemed, the funnier it got to everyone but Ida and her parents. Although they did not particularly dislike Karl, they made it clear to Ida that he was not for marrying (not that she was tempted) and they told Ida frequently how sorry they were that she had to endure his comments.

    However, Karl was never crude. He made an effort to be helpful to Ida, as much as she wished he would disappear. He constantly offered to move heavy bolts of cloth for her, a chore that he found almost as difficult as she did her herself. He made extra trips to Sut Mar to pick up supplies, trips for which she was not charged. After learning that her birthday was March 15, he would find some small present around town that he felt might please her and, every now and then, he would buy something useful for her, like the shears he purchased new for her in Hallne. There were other Jewish girls in town, many more buxom than Ida, who considered herself rather flat-chested and unattractive. But Karl never showed any interest towards any of them. To Ida, he was still just a boy. She celebrated her 20th birthday. Karl offered to take her for a ride into the countryside. She declined, but politely. It was not proper for men and women to be alone together when they were unmarried. She was a woman and Karl, well, he was just 17, a boy, but it would still not be proper.

    ##

    August 1914. The Crown Prince had been assassinated in Serbia, and the Empire was at war with Russia. Within a week, all the 17-year-old boys were drafted, Karl Goldmann and Herman Weisz among them. Karl’s younger brother Zhigger now used the Goldmann taxi to take Karl, Herman, and another friend to the staging area outside Sat Mar. Before they left, family members cried and hugged their sons and brothers, pleading with them to write and silently dreading their unknown fate. The boys looked young and scared, and none had any desire to fight. Desertion — defined to include failing to report for duty — meant immediate death by firing squad.

    Ida crushed forward to give Herman one last hug for good luck, and as she leaned in towards her brother, Karl, who had been standing next to Herman, grabbed hold of her arm and squeezed. “I love you, Ida. Please wait for me to come back.”

    Ida pulled her arm away quickly and declined to respond. The utter gall of that boy! To touch her in public, no less, and to act as if she cared a whit about him! She turned around to see whether any of her family members had seen this insult, but all she could detect was a faint smirk on the face of four-year-old Piroska, whom everyone now called Peszi. “Let’s go back in the house, Peszi.” She turned and, with her littlest sister following close behind, shut Karl out of her life. For good, she hoped.

    ##

    Ida carried a secret deep within her, one that she would not share, even with her closest girlfriends. She loved Jeno Friedman, son of the rabbi, and the oldest of 12 children in the poorest family in Terebes. He was her age, but exempt from military service because of poor eyesight. He spent his hours studying to become a rabbi himself, under his father’s tutelage.

    She did not know when or how she had fallen in love. One day, it seemed, Jeno was just another person who frequented her father’s store from time to time, bringing in some of his father’s clothes for major repair or asking her father to sew together a couple of boys’ shirts for his brothers. The next day — or perhaps it was the next week or the next month — Jeno was always stopping by to make pleasant conversation with her. On a late December afternoon, when her father had stepped out to use the privy and no one else was in the room where they worked, Jeno walked over boldly to Ida, took her hands in his, and leaned over to kiss her politely on the cheek. The move so stunned Ida that she had nothing to say, but could only smile. He smiled back, and she felt that a deal had been struck wordlessly; they would marry.

    They never talked about their one and only kiss, or what it implied, and years had passed, but Ida did not doubt her intuition that a wedding was in store for them. He was waiting until he was ready; he needed to obtain smicha first — ordination — and then to find a town that needed a rabbi and could support a rabbi’s family. She knew that he would ask her some day.

    Her feelings for Jeno and her utter conviction that she and Jeno would emerge as a couple made the situation with Karl even more ridiculous. That is, until the war — now being called the Great War — took Karl away. With Karl gone, Ida felt more comfortable in going over to his house to visit with his sister, Ethel. Ida became almost a household fixture there. She helped nurse Karl’s father as he lay dying in 1915. She helped nurse Karl’s mother as she lay dying in 1917. During the entire war, as far as she knew, Karl never appeared in Terebes nor did he even deign to write her a letter. Ida waited, but Jeno said nothing and took no steps to confirm Ida’s fervent wish that he ask for her hand.

    In March 1918, Ida turned 23, about to become an old maid. Karl finally came back from the army, wounded by poison gas and weakened by typhoid. He found his family’s house — three doors down from Ida — virtually empty. As soon as the war ended, Karl’s two older brothers quickly emigrated to the victorious United States, and he was left trying to run the taxi service himself, care for his siblings, and learn the shoemaker trade all at once. He seemed at first to take no notice of Ida, which suited her just fine, but gradually his old boyish habits returned, almost hidden under the heavy visage of the man who had somehow lived through the horrors of the Great War and whose family had all but disappeared.

    Occasionally, Ida dreamed of Budapest, a place she had last seen only two years earlier, when she and the rest of her family had rushed there to evade the approaching Russian army. She dreamed, not of the Budapest of the war, but of the Budapest of 1910, the happy, energetic, sophisticated place of what she now thought of as her distant youth.

    The end of the war brought hardships to Terebes that Ida and her family could never have imagined. All of Transylvania was conceded to and became part of Romania, where the natives spoke a language few Hungarians understood. Terebes was renamed by the victors as Turulung. Strict policemen in new uniforms began to patrol the streets. Worse than the realization that the Austrian-Hungarian Empire had lost the war and no longer existed was the dire economic situation. The forints that Ida had been saving towards her marriage were worthless. Under the new currency, everything that Ida used to buy became way too expensive to afford. Everyone grew hungrier.

    In the midst of this poverty, Karl entered Ida’s shop one freezing afternoon in January to talk, once again, of marriage.

    “Ida, I love you. Will you marry me if I take you to America?” Karl’s eyes were downcast; he avoided looking directly at Ida, who laughed heartily.

    “Karl Goldmann! How many times do I need to tell you that I don’t love you? What do you want with a wife who isn’t in love with you?”

    “America, Ida, think about it. My brothers are there, and they tell me they’re doing well. Food is cheap. There are jobs everywhere. We can live in New York City. It’s even bigger than Budapest, it’s got theaters and movie houses. Money is all around. So, if I can afford to take you there, will you marry me?”

    Ida had heard the stories and had read about America. She was tired of living like a peasant and wished only to be more comfortable than she was in a crowded house, now the eldest child given that her brother Jeno had not returned from the war. She felt like a drudge. She felt like an old maid, now that her sister Shari was engaged to be married that spring. Yet, she could not see herself married to Karl. He was skinny! He had these awfully big ears! And to desert Jeno Friedman?

    As she silently debated her options, the thought crossed her mind that Karl would never be able to afford passage to America himself, but his brothers might send money for them. She didn’t know if they would. And, well, if they did, maybe that would be a sign from God that she was meant to go with Karl. Jeno Friedman had no brothers in America and would never afford to take himself there, let alone take a wife with him.

    “OK, Karl. I’ll marry you if you take me to America, but only if I see the tickets first.”

    “Do you swear?”

    “I don’t swear. It’s not very Jewish of you to ask me to swear. But, if I say something, I mean it.”

    Without so much as a nod or a smile or a thank you, Karl dashed out of Ida’s house. She shook her head in disbelief and started to pick up the shirt she had been working on when, instantly it seemed, Karl ran back in panting, holding an envelope in his hands, and pulling out two tickets for the train to Hamburg.

    “They’re here! I told them that we had already married, and they want us to come live with them! Here is your passage to America, Ida, my love!”

    Ida felt as if her blood had drained to her feet and sat down quickly on the nearby chair so that she wouldn’t fall over. Karl approached, knelt down, and brushed her long brown hair face from her face to see if she was alright. He stared at her for a second, then awkwardly bent forward to kiss her on the mouth. Ida, too shocked to pull back, shared the kiss for an instant.

    ##

    The train rumbled westward through the night. Karl and Ida sat together in a crowded coach car. He held her hand lightly. She did not resist, but did little to reciprocate the gesture of affection. Karl had been endearing right up to the point of the quickly-arranged wedding. Following the wedding, when Ida moved into Karl’s house while he spent some months tying up the family’s affairs, Karl became distant, irritable, and insanely jealous, all at once. Ida tried as hard as she could to be a devoted wife, but her efforts never managed to elicit the love that Karl claimed he felt for her. She wondered about how Jeno Friedman would have treated her if she had married him instead.

    Karl and Ida had been married now for nine months, and she had been pregnant for eight of them. If the child in her turned out to be a boy, she had decided to name him Artur. It was a popular name in Hungary, but no one knew what it meant. It made her think of King Artur of the Round Table, the myth she had read about in school. She hoped that America would be a Camelot for herself and the children she might bear. Artur sounded strong. He would be strong, she promised herself.

     

     

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  • For Jesse, A Poem

    June 15, 2012
    Uncategorized

    How many noticed the flag at half staff/ As we crossed the dam beside the silver lake/  On the way to say goodbye/ As if the threads of pregnant meaning/                               Knew you had gone?

    We gathered in that small New England town/ On a day chill and bright to freeze our brief tears/ Icy prisms spilling light/ Remembering that we still lived, your/                         Laughter inside

     

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  • Blessings # 9 – – “Tabbi”

    April 26, 2012
    Uncategorized

    Tabbi you were so much more to my life
    Than a slave to be easily forgot

    To lay you under the swallowing Earth
    And spurn all who sought to offer comfort

    To just hear their wishes that I receive
    A new slave, another equally good

    When you were so much more my lost brother
    A man to share with me each joy and tear

    Was to have the skin stripped from my cold chest
    As I lie unable to fend off pain

    So I brought them around to surround me
    That first horrid night with their fair comforts

    To offer praises not spoken before
    Teaching that the human must be valued

    Must be valued for what he does in life
    As his station ends when his soul departs.

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  • Guns, Fear, and Race: Trayvon Martin and Deja Vu All Over Again

    April 2, 2012
    Uncategorized

                It’s happening again.  An attorney stares at an autopsy photograph of a young black male taken down by gunfire.  On the desk nearby sit FBI 302s, the code name for a written report of an investigator’s interview with a witness.  The phone is ringing off the hook (remember the hooks?) with demands for justice, demands for punishment, demands for patience, demands for information, not necessarily in that order.  Events of the past few weeks bring me back to a case I investigated in 1977 and teach me that, no matter how many similar tragedies we absorb as a nation, sadly nothing changes.           

                It’s dusk in a Houston neighborhood and two white police officers are in a squad car heading down a street, doing their job, and they encounter a sight that causes them concern.  A young black man walks down the center of a busy street.  He is not dressed in a business suit, and his walk is unsteady.  The officers stop their squad car in front of the young man – the man’s name is Larry Milton Glover – in order to see what he’s up to and to get him out of the road, where he’s a danger to himself and to others.  The driver opens his door, his hand reaching to his sidearm, and the strange black man reaches into his back pocket and starts to pull something out of his pocket.  Larry says something like “I’ve got something for you.” The first officer, fearing for his life, pulls his gun and shoots at the dark object.  Startled by the gun fire, the second officer, still in the car, pulls her weapon and shoots at Larry through the windshield of the police car.  Startled by the gun fire, the first officer empties his revolver into Larry, squeezing off another five rounds within a couple of seconds.  Larry is dead, and a bullet hole has been blown in the dark object that had been in his pocket … a Bible.

                Thirty-five years have passed since these events, and I still ask myself whether justice was done.  No federal charges were brought against the police officers after an investigation because federal civil rights laws require, as an element of a crime under 18 United States Code 242, that a defendant be shown to have had a specific intent to deprive a victim of his constitutional rights.  Where does legitimate fear end and a desire to inflict pain, mayhem, and death begin?  The answer is seldom as clear as we would like.  The violent end of Larry Milton Glover’s life started the wheels of justice grinding slowly and inconclusively.  The government prosecuted no one for his death, but that is not to say that the police officers involved were not punished.  The mere fact that a federal grand jury was convened and asked to hear evidence about the shooting undoubtedly took its toll on their well-being, if not their careers.  No one in his right mind wants to be on the trigger end of the gun.

                I cannot comment about the specific case of Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman, except to note that similar events have occurred – seem to keep occurring – in which gunfire takes down a black, unarmed young man and fear for one’s life is cited as the justification or explanation.  The line between justifiable fear and an evil intention can be fine indeed.  With hand guns so prevalent in our society, who is not afraid?   The Larry Milton Glovers of the world, the police officers who protect us, the young people of all races, and the neighborhood watch captains can tell you:  no one.

                From 1976 to 1980, the writer was a Trial Attorney in the Criminal Section of the Civil Rights Division, United States Department of Justice.  His purely fictional story, “Specific Intent,” available on Kindle, relates a similar, tragic incident.  http://www.amazon.com/Specific-Intent-ebook/dp/B006KJ1W1Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1333370083&sr=1-1  

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  • Blessings #8 — “The grave thrusts out our dead”

    March 16, 2012
    Uncategorized

    The grave thrusts out our dead with clamor
    Yet we perceive them not today
    It is the ‘morrow we never reach
    That hears their sound of new life

    We hear just the cries of the newborn
    Pressed into this world by clenching
    Wombs that wage war to free themselves
    Of their weighty mysteries

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  • “Two Witnesses” — a poem

    February 29, 2012
    Uncategorized

    The first

    One last question posed/And the shaken drawling man/Cannot answer/Head hanging/Hands cover his face

    We lean forward/To hear the breaking voice/That so laden moment/We knew would come

    But his sobs remain silent/The Court has ordered every witness/Not to speak of death

    He cannot answer truthfully/Whatever question he thinks was asked

    The Second

    Strides into the courtroom/Head held high/He shakes the lawyer’s hand

    Now to face the questions/His buddy fumbled

    He can do better/He won’t pass blame/In his mind everything was right/A man finds the way to survive

    Published in Rusty Nail Magazine, 2/27/12 http://www.rustynailmag.com/bberger.html

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  • “Childbirth” — a poem

    February 23, 2012
    Uncategorized

    One cool April night we feel your clamoring to appear/Your angry and tired blazing and intelligent eyes/Staring at those who bring you forth to burst into a world

    As a separate/God detached yet bound/Who summon you

    From the warm watery kingdom, from the mix and matching/Of endless spirals laced into the lattice of life/The ineffable plan that sucks constant at creation

     

    “Childbirth” has been published in Issue 1.1 of the Bellow Literary Journal — www.bellowliteraryjournal.com

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  • from the “Poems at Trial” — “An Expert, March 27, 2008”

    February 10, 2012
    Uncategorized

    An elderly man, thin and shaky, consults and engineers/His strong but quavering voice from the stand/Lists many accomplishments behind heavy black-framed glasses

    He analyzes failures, how the world comes apart under stress/He explains how a ceramic vase breaks when dropped to a hard surface/Based upon his Doctor of Science degree from MIT

    He drones on about his storied life of scholarship/His emeritus retirement now showers him with ten times his professor pay/And he rescues former students from embarrassing design mistakes, ever the teacher

    He’s figured out how metal holds bone pieces together, except when it does not/When plaintiffs call him to explain the fault/As all problems must be blamed and all life’s disconnections made right at law

    He proudly mentions Who’s Who and other wondrous achievements/Until we forget why we are here today/The clock’s hands spin and we still haven’t gotten past his credentials.

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brucejberger

Highlighting the creative writings of Bruce J. Berger.

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