Dear Mr. Trump,

Of course you should have the most prominent defense attorneys in the country. They’ll clearly assist you greatly in your struggle to stay in office.

Prof. Dershowitz, we recall, was a key part of the “Dream Team” that got murderer O.J. Simpson off the hook by raising entirely bogus issues and obfuscating truth. I respect Prof. Dershowitz, having worked for him one summer at Harvard Law, and he’s just what you need.

Others able to garner Prof. Dershowitz’s outstanding defense acumen include Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein.

Prof. Dershowitz brings honor to the legal profession by undertaking the representation of less-than-popular clients. All Americans deserve the best legal defense they can get, whether or not they’re scum. It’s why our system is the best system in the world.

Ken Starr, we recall, thought that President Clinton should be removed from office for lying in a deposition about an extramarital affair. That somehow jeopardized our national security, whereas now Mr. Starr feels that soliciting bribery, illegally withholding military support for an ally while you sought and in return for a personal, political boost, is insignificant.

What did Mr. Starr say recently about your case? I remember now: “Ambassador Gordon Sondland’s testimony is a ‘bombshell’ that all but guarantees articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump. He said further that “We now know that the president, in fact, committed the crime of bribery.”

So he’s going to argue that the bribe you sought – announcement of a phony investigation against Joe Biden – was insignificant. Right. And pigs can fly.

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger