Dear Mr. Trump,

You took the trouble to email me recently about some of your amazing, out-of-this-world plans. In particular, you informed me – and others who breathlessly wait to receive your emails – that you “will establish a foundation for an eventual mission to Mars.” I cannot think of a better place for you to go, Sir, and – when you blast off – please bring along with you the vice president and the apologist Republican leaders of Congress.

Oh, I’m sure there will be many who miss you, such as the millions of Americans who don’t realize you lied to them repeatedly, the people who thought that you’d protect their health care and social security, the people who thought that you would “clean out the swamp,” the people who believed that your craziness about imposing tariffs somehow bring back their jobs, the people who don’t realize that, for every job you save by building walls, 16 jobs will be lost.

Yes, there will be people who miss you, such as the millions of Americans who also hate refugees and the children of refugees, who think it’s a happy day when you make fun of the handicapped, who also get their jollies from disparaging American heroes such as John McCain.

Yes, there will be people who miss you, such as the millions of Americans who believe that grabbing p***y is their right, that adultery is their right, that lying is the only way to deal with tough issues, that climate change is a hoax.

I realize that, by shooting you and your cohort off on this space ship, we would greatly risk contaminating the rest of the solar system. So be it, Sir. Right now, we need to protect the earth more than anything else.

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger