Dear Mr. Trump:

I expect that you will fire Mr. Mueller within a few weeks, but I implore you not to do so, Sir. I am aware that you love to fire people, that doing so makes you feel superior, tough, courageous. I am aware that firing people feeds your unquenchable narcissism and gets that testosterone surging. Aware of all that, however, I urge you to leave Mr. Mueller where he is and let him do his job.

If you follow my advice, Sir, you still have multiple options for firing people, and, in your fantasy world, I have some suggestions. You can fire:

Abraham Lincoln – Fire him for his war against the slaveholding Southern states. Fire him because – unlike you – he could speak well above a fourth grade level.

Franklin D. Roosevelt – Fire him because he cared about the country and brought us, among other things, Social Security. Fire him because – unlike you – he won a majority of the votes in his presidential elections.

John F. Kennedy – Fire him because he stood up to the Russians, making you look terrible for your failure to do so.

Richard Nixon – Fire him because, although he was a crook, you make him look good.

Yes, I know that these former presidents are not around, but think of the great symbolism in firing them! Plus, you live in a fantasy world anyway, imagining yourself with superhuman powers. Stay in your imaginary universe. Leave Mr. Mueller alone.

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger