Dear Mr. Trump,

How foolish you are, Sir, to want to spend tens of millions of dollars on a military parade in Washington, DC. That money could be better spent, don’t you think? Perhaps you could use the money to provide better medical care to our veterans?

Plus, why put our soldiers’ lives at risk just for your own entertainment? Accidents happen during maneuvers. As military.com has recently reported: “In all branches of the armed forces, at least 56 service members have been killed or injured in non-combat incidents since the beginning of June.” Do you want to risk more soldiers dying – unnecessarily – so you can watch a military parade like your friend Putin? Like your idol, Adolf Hitler? Military maneuvers should occur solely in service of our nation’s legitimate military objectives instead of your babyish desire to watch a show and brag.

Here’s an idea for you, Sir. May I please buy you a set of plastic soldiers? Like this one:

[picture of set of 144 plastic soldiers available on Amazon]

You can set them up in the Situation Room of the White House. Since they’re plastic, they won’t hurt the nice conference table. Then you can go “Bam!” and “Crash!” and knock over as many as you like and have fun doing so. Plus, the more you play with toy soldiers, the better off our real soldiers will be. Please give it thought, Sir. I am serious. I will send these to you if you want them.

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger