Dear Mr. Trump,

I think it’s deplorable that so much is being made of your affair with that porn star. That alleged affair, I mean. Who would believe that you could possibly be unfaithful to your wife? Heh, heh.

I wonder if the payment – the alleged payment, I mean – was by check. Because, you know, there’s probably a copy of it somewhere around. But, if it was cash, I wonder who remembers collecting it and putting it into the brown satchel in which it was undoubtedly delivered. I mean, in which it was allegedly delivered. Heh, heh.

Really, Sir. It’s a shame that we’re not focusing on the real issue: getting you and your apologizers out of office. When you’re a civilian again – it can’t happen too soon – you can screw all the porn stars you want, and I won’t care.

Very truly yours,

Bruce J. Berger